Francine, you are in BIG trouble!

Dear bunny,

Only part of the damage.

Looks kind of smug, huh?

Please stop gnawing on the baseboards and door frames in the house. It is really getting on my nerves. I have given you so many wonderful things to chew on (see the carpet, wood, hay, carrots, cardboard, and baby toys littering your room?? Huh? You even have a kabob of chew toys!!), so why do you go after something that

is covered in paint and is probably toxic????
If you don't like the color of the mouldings, just let me know and we'll change it. You are very cute, but STOP DAMAGING MY HOUSE!

Love,

AC

P.S. I don't like it when you eat my books, either. The Lord of the Rings will never recover from your voracious appetite. YOU might hate the Tom Bombadil section, but I like it.

$$

One more thing...

Dear Online Shopping Sites,

Please stop having phenomenal sales and great prices and free shipping and discounts. I must stop looking at you. My bank account hates all of you.

Dear...things in my life.

Dear Cheesecake in the Fridge,

Please stop tempting me. I know you are there and that you taste delicious. I know that you are a fantastic breakfast. I know that my waistline knows you very well. Please go away. Wait, umm, maybe after a couple more bites.

Dear Treadmill,

I am so sorry for neglecting you. I promise to take you for a walk today....or soon. I might have to take some exercise dvds out first. Don't worry, I am not breaking up with you, just straying a little.

Dear Kindle,

Please stop being so enticing. I want to curl up with you for hours in a warm, cuddly blanket. My husband is jealous.

Dear People Who Write Books for Kindle,

Please stop. I have spent enough money on you. Your stories are wonderful, but please cease writing wonderful stories that I just have to buy and read for hours on end.

Dear Piano,

I apologize for not playing you lately. If you could do me a small favor and tune yourself, I might be more inclined to play you.

Dear Carpet,

I know you would like to see the light of day. All I can promise is someday, hopefully soon, you will see the daylight. I will point out, however, that my stuff thinks you are so comfortable, it wants to stay there. I hope you don't mind.

Love,

AC

Messy messy messy

Dear house,

Why are you so messy? Just because I leave dishes around and craft supplies litter the floor, doesn't mean you have ANY right to look bad. You should be ashamed of yourself.